2012 - Setting powerful, divine fueled goals that stick

Dearest Soulies, It's that time of year again when we all haphazardly 'start afresh'. We set ourselves a host of sparkling goals, which lose their sheen several weeks into January. We set ourselves up mission impossible and we invariably fail. So here is my little guide to making your changes stick for 2012.

Shift Your Focus...

Firstly you need to change the way you think about your goals. Rather than just jumping towards the first thing that you think you would like, it's best to look back over recent times and really, carefully assess what is making you happy, and what is not? It's tempting to swear off bread, or commit to losing 14 pounds by feb, but realisitically... will these things make you happy? Take a few minutes to dig deep into that thought...

Secondly think back to the most recent time you felt truly happy. Then consider what it is you want to change about your life. For example, you want to lose weight, or you want a new career. Consider how important that change was to you when you were really happy? So the last time you were happy, were you bothered by your extra weight, did your job really irk you?

This will help you to assess how 'real' these changes are for you. If you find that you were happy despite these things, then your goal can be loosened and made realistic.

To make a goal realistic we don't focus on the goal itself, but a little more on the outcome. You may not focus on your stubborn tummy fat, but rather switch your goal to something along the lines of, 'In 2012 I intend to find peace and happiness and joy in my own skin'. Write it up on the fridge or bathroom mirror where you can see it and keep it fresh in your mind. Remind yourself of that time you felt happy and know that happiness comes not from changes in your life but from a shift of attitude.

Happiness Shift...

Remember that happiness always comes from the inside of you. So whilst goals are handy, they are simply a tool we use to try to achieve something we already have easy access to. Remember this when setting your goals and know that digging for joy may not take a year of self punishment, but could be found through a simple acceptance that you have it, and you deserve it, irrespective of your lousy job or your dress size!

Divine Intervention

Another way to set powerful goals is to ask for divine intervention... This too is so easy. A great time to ask for the help of the spiritual 'big guns' would be New Years Eve or New Years Day. Don't doubt who they are, or what they are capable of. Whilst hosts of angels are unlikely to swoop down and give you feather trimmed liposuction, it remins that setting an energtetic intent into the New Year, whilst asking for the help of whatever divine helpers are around you right now, can help you to make the right decisions.

So as we career into 2012, have a little think what you would like. Take into account the switch of focus explained above and prepare to ask your divine helpers to give you the power and inspiration to change your life and find yourself happy in whatever situations are thrown at you. A little ritual will assit set this intent into your own mind, so here is what I reccomend...

The Ritual

Light a candle or two, cleanse yourself with sage smoke, or have a long soak in the bath. Empty your mind of all it's issues with a brief 2 minute meditation, focus on your breath and clear your space with powerful positive thought, relaxing meditation music, and maybe with the gentle drift of incense.

When you feel ready take a pen and paper and write down what you would like to be different about 2012, what you desire in your life, what would make your heart sing? Focus very much on the positive... Do not fill your list with 'I don't want's', instead focus on what you DO want. Address this letter to your divine helpers and know that in whatever way the solutions find you, they most certainly will occur. Not always as you expect of course... but it is vital to trust in what manifests. Take a moment to acknowledge that what will be, will be, and that however the change comes, you are ready to hold and accept it in your life. Choose to have faith, and let your divine assistants know that when your faith is proven right, you will choose to accept it totally and unconditionally.

Then take your letter, read it back. Place the words in your heart, and burn the letter itself. In burning it, you release it out to the magical energies of the universe. You set the goal free to be what it will. Then you can get on with your life, knowing in your heart that change will come. Don't hold onto that scrap of paper because the goals will become stale. Burn it, release it, TRUST.

So Good Luck with your goals Soulies! 2012 is going to be a magical year for us all, feel it, believe it and love it!

Alice Grist x

Managing Editor of Soul-Cafe, Author & Soul Rocks Publisher

Bloodthirsty Anyone...?

Oh my gosh, has the world gone mad? No I think it probably always has been... So Colonel Gaddafi got killed, but do we really need to celebrate it across the front pages of our 'civilised' publications? Do we need to shout out about revenge. Do we need to see the bloody, brutal details? Doesn't this reak of hypocrisy? Doesn't our societies tolerance and celebration of this bloodthirsty, vengeful act send a shiver up your spine?

And if you doubt the hypocrisy here consider this. Yesterday I heard that Britney Spears had been lambasted by politicians for being insensitive. Her new music video, shot in London, features her holding a gun. Her insensitivity is apparently related to the London Riots. And yet, it's OK to parade images of a shot, bloodied up dead man all over the country. So one day we have alleged gun related 'insensitivity' and then the next day the sordid, vivid details of what guns can do is deemed appropriate for front pages and indeed is celebrated. Something ain't quite right here...

In THHGTSL I talk about Dumb Culture. I think that this little chapter of our history could well fit into that section of my book. I can't help feeling like I'm in the middle ages watching an execution. The thing is, back then executions were entertainment, street theatre. And as I pass blood soaked copies of red top newspapers outside newsagents, at the height for any passing toddler to see, I can't help think that we have again gotten sucked again into a carnival of cruelty.

Irrespective of what Mr Gaddafi may be guilty of there is no need to sensationalize, publicise and hype up his brutal death. Well there is a need, a need to fuel the coffers of the media. And that my lovely Soulies is Dumb Culture in action.

Karma has her way with us all in her own time. I have faith and first hand experience in that. I'm not sure if Gaddafi got his Karma, but I do know that revenge is an act of anger and hate. And because of all that anger and hate I am sure that Karma is being dosed out by the barrel today.

We live in a partially sucky world. Other parts of this life are miraculous, beautiful, astonishing. I will choose to take a think about them next time I see glorified murdered corpses littering the covers of our established and respected broadsheets. I will not join the goon squad baying for blood and revenge. News is news, I don't want to live in denial, but what I saw today was nasty.

That's my outrage done and dusted. I don't have an answer to this, it's too big a thing to deal with on a Friday evening. Peace and love are my only 'go to' answer, and somehow, right now, I think they are far from may people's hearts. I will hold them tight in mine, as I am sure you will in yours. And that, I hope, will be enough for now.

Beyond that I will practice some forgiveness, Goddess bless everyone involved victims, perpetrators and journalists just trying to make a dollar. Goddess bless us all.

Bad, Bad, Bad Stuff and Spirituality....

Spirituality is never clear cut. More often than not it's the 'least spiritual' things, the really bad things, that turn out to have the greatest spiritual effect upon us. In my book, The High heeled Guide to Spiritual Living, I say everything is spiritual. Every action, every word, every deed, every thought. And all these things are spiritual because we are spirit. So this makes even the least obviously spiritual things actually rather spiritual indeed. Whilst we should not actively indulge in hurtful or harmful behavior and classify it as our spiritual practice, we can look back on our lives and see how the mistakes we have made have helped mold our character and perhaps push us towards something deeper.

I don't want this post to turn into a full on confessional... But if you do want to share, then please do. If you don't, then perhaps simply contemplate your life, have a think about how your actions, even your worst actions, have helped bring you to this place you are in now. How has every bad event, word or action helped you to become a person searching for spirituality, a person looking to be better and on a path to enlightenment?

We need to accept our mistakes and errors to help us move on. And whilst we will no doubt go on to make many more mistakes, having a knowledge of the spiritual value of these mistakes can help you very much on your spiritual path.

So.... what's your foulest worst deed, your deep dark secret, your hidden shame? And in this darkness what light has been shone, what have you learned. How can you celebrate the joy that bad times have allowed through learning. How have the very worst of times and very worst of behaviors helped transform things powerfully for the very best?

Coping with being Judged...

Today I was the 'victim' of somebody else's judgement. Ouch. Now as you know I am forever pursuing my spiritual path, I talk alot about non-reaction, and rising above etc etc, but, in spite of what I have learned- being judged still hurts. Particularly when the person in question happens to be soooo wrong about me.

Now in my books I talk a whole lot about not judging others, and really, after today, I think that this can be the easy part. It's almost easy to withhold our own opinion, or even to choose not to have an opinion. And so we presume other's find that easy too. We join spiritual sites and expect to be treated well and peacefully. But I was on such a spiritual site, when a person decided to let me have the full venom of their opinion. It was the 2nd time this same person had let me feel their wrath. The first time was based solely on the colour of my hair - they hated blondes - apparently we are all ice cold evil bitches - wowsers!

Inspite of how ridiculous this was there is something quite painful, about going about one's business, being good and kind and then someone taking a metaphorical swipe at you. Today the same person came at me again, with a whole new set of accusations. Completely untrue, but horrid and hurtful nonetheless.

One of my fave phrases is 'What you think of me is none of my business'. So I am employing that into my own personal situation. But I am still human, and whilst I may spiritually cut my cords with that person, there is still a bit of a tug, that would like to set them straight, a very human part that would like to slap back.

Instead of this, I left the group where this person dwelled. I felt unprotected and exposed there. I thanked my lucky stars that I have this lovely site, full of kind hearted people to come home to and I 'blocked' the person from my life. The facebook version of cord cutting! I am now having a little vent here, but will go on to send love and light and peace to that person, and in swift time I hope that all things inside myself rebalance themselves. I will ask for healing for me and for them. All things happen for a reason though, and so I will examine that too inside myself.

So this judgement thing... Maybe there is more than meets the eye? What reason has this happened for? My challenge is to react with unconditional love and to learn whatever I need to learn. And of course this situation has sparked this discussion, and I hope will help you guys too! So on that note let's talk! How do you cope with judgement, and what have you learned from it's occurence in your life? Please share your experiences with us, as we all learn to live in a world that is not always safe from other people's venom.

So when being judged by others... how do you cope?

Try a little Forgiveness and Grace

I hope in this post to encourage everyone to forgive those who have harmed us and experience the sense of grace and peace that tends to bring about.

Forgiveness can be very difficult. Whether a wound is brand new or scarred and old, either way we have a glut of emotions to tend to. We can get so lost in these emotions, they can run so deep, that they may feel a part of our psyche. Our anger becomes a defining characteristic and we thrive on the rush it gives us.

We feel our wayward turmoil belongs to us, we own it, we need it maybe? We can make it a part of our character, and it influences the way we conduct ourselves. For example a past hurt may now rule how you act in a classroom, with a partner, or how you wear your clothes even. We see this as our 'learning' from that hurt. But really in changing ourselves to fit a past hurt are we not just exacerbating that hurt? Making it real and fresh, day in, day out. Are we living off that hurt, because we have not yet found a way to let it go. Instead we keep the scars fresh by revisiting time and time again.

I suggest that rather than fitting your hurt to suit your soul, or wearing it on your literal sleeve, it is wiser and more glorious to simply drop it - although of course this is the more difficult thing to do too!

I believe that anger is something you can put down if you choose to. You may not realise that yet, it may be difficult, trust me i struggle also. But it can be done. The first step is to simply try. To release it. Maybe ask for help from spirit guides, angels, the big electron or whoever or whatever you do believe in. Meditate on it. Contemplate it whilst in the shower, cleaning the car or sitting in traffic. Hold the intention in your heart to drop the bad feelings and see how that feels a little... Do it everyday, be conscious about it. Let the feelings ebb away and enjoy the space this leaves.

Forgiveness is, in the end, always, about you. About your abilitiy to live and to cope with all things. It is about your ability to endure and to seek solace in your own skin.

Forgive someone today one small thing and then take it from there! Make a definite decision to release all frustration, sadness and ugly feeling towards whomever has hurt you. Who knows by next week you could have ascended past all your pains and be living afresh, full of smiles and not one iota of bitterness dragging you back! Good luck!

Alice's Wonderland: The Dress

Lets get serious guys and gals. Let's talk dresses.

This girl has a book launch to prepare for to which you are all invited of course...BOOK LAUNCH DETAILS This girl has to start thinking dresses.

I will be honest with you. Shopping and me do not go. For a Woman who has written two books with 'high heeled' in the title I really should be more at home on a high street. But really, I am not. I kind of detest shopping. On a spiritual level I think excess of it can be unhealthy as we while away our hours on earth always searching for the next 'thing' to take the pain away or to make us feel happy. I have been there and done that... But on a very human level I can't be bothered with the crowds, the marching store to store, the disappointment, the sore feet and the worst aspect of them all... the changing room mirrors. Yuk.

But like I say. I have an outfit to purchase, a dress to wow the crowd, a little something to shine! As much as I may feel like schlepping about in something black and baggy, it's my book launch, I gotta make an effort. I must be proud, if not of myself, but then of the wonderful universe who put the book in my head in the first place - then sat me down for hour after hour and recited the detail into my brain as I typed it out. That's a whole lotta typing that needs a little bit of a 'big up' from the typist herself!

So clearly the dress must be found. I am secretly hoping the dress will find me. If I close my eyes and will it, then maybe it may just appear... as if by magic. Stranger things have happened! Maybe this post will help. Maybe a shout out to the universe via a cyberspace blog is precisely what I need to prevent me having to trudge through those double doors, scour the aisles and depart with silly amounts of cash.

Dress buying is not as simple as it used to be when I was eighteen. First up in relation to dress buying, the book itself is highly ethical, (some may say ranty) I say ethical, opinionated too yes. So the last thing I can do is fling myself into a piece of cloth welded together by the sweat of eight year olds in Guatemala. I gotta find something uber ethical, something that reflects my desire for the world to be a better place. Primark, I am afraid, you are ruled out.

But does this mean fashion has to be expensive? I mean why should it be? To pay someone a decent wage, why would that translate massively to the consumer? Well happily it doesn't! Nor does it mean I must go clad in cheesecloth and tie dye. Happily the world is catching up and I have seen at least one contender in the great dress competition. There are a mass of online retailers touting ethical fashion, and whilst the high street is slowly catching up, I can have a massive choice of morally happy threads, without leaving my front room. If everything is spiritual, which I believe it is, then dress shopping is too. Maybe even those darned dressing room mirrors have their place! Maybe those damned mirrors have forced me to stop shopping, contemplate the ethics and eventually make the right ethical decision - all just to avoid the high street changing room! High Street 0 - Universal Magic 1!

Suddenly the world of shopping and dressing is appealing to me again. I feel a reversal to my younger self, where a dress was a dress, rather than a moral question! As for what I buy, and how it looks. I'm not sure yet? I guess I'll keep you posted, maybe even a pic before the event. Ethically sound, marvelous dress, here I come!

Oh god... an afterthought... what about the shoes... more ethical dilemmas and clothing related installments to follow from the gal hoping to turn officially vegan very soon! Eeeek!