Coping with being Judged...

Today I was the 'victim' of somebody else's judgement. Ouch. Now as you know I am forever pursuing my spiritual path, I talk alot about non-reaction, and rising above etc etc, but, in spite of what I have learned- being judged still hurts. Particularly when the person in question happens to be soooo wrong about me.

Now in my books I talk a whole lot about not judging others, and really, after today, I think that this can be the easy part. It's almost easy to withhold our own opinion, or even to choose not to have an opinion. And so we presume other's find that easy too. We join spiritual sites and expect to be treated well and peacefully. But I was on such a spiritual site, when a person decided to let me have the full venom of their opinion. It was the 2nd time this same person had let me feel their wrath. The first time was based solely on the colour of my hair - they hated blondes - apparently we are all ice cold evil bitches - wowsers!

Inspite of how ridiculous this was there is something quite painful, about going about one's business, being good and kind and then someone taking a metaphorical swipe at you. Today the same person came at me again, with a whole new set of accusations. Completely untrue, but horrid and hurtful nonetheless.

One of my fave phrases is 'What you think of me is none of my business'. So I am employing that into my own personal situation. But I am still human, and whilst I may spiritually cut my cords with that person, there is still a bit of a tug, that would like to set them straight, a very human part that would like to slap back.

Instead of this, I left the group where this person dwelled. I felt unprotected and exposed there. I thanked my lucky stars that I have this lovely site, full of kind hearted people to come home to and I 'blocked' the person from my life. The facebook version of cord cutting! I am now having a little vent here, but will go on to send love and light and peace to that person, and in swift time I hope that all things inside myself rebalance themselves. I will ask for healing for me and for them. All things happen for a reason though, and so I will examine that too inside myself.

So this judgement thing... Maybe there is more than meets the eye? What reason has this happened for? My challenge is to react with unconditional love and to learn whatever I need to learn. And of course this situation has sparked this discussion, and I hope will help you guys too! So on that note let's talk! How do you cope with judgement, and what have you learned from it's occurence in your life? Please share your experiences with us, as we all learn to live in a world that is not always safe from other people's venom.

So when being judged by others... how do you cope?

Try a little Forgiveness and Grace

I hope in this post to encourage everyone to forgive those who have harmed us and experience the sense of grace and peace that tends to bring about.

Forgiveness can be very difficult. Whether a wound is brand new or scarred and old, either way we have a glut of emotions to tend to. We can get so lost in these emotions, they can run so deep, that they may feel a part of our psyche. Our anger becomes a defining characteristic and we thrive on the rush it gives us.

We feel our wayward turmoil belongs to us, we own it, we need it maybe? We can make it a part of our character, and it influences the way we conduct ourselves. For example a past hurt may now rule how you act in a classroom, with a partner, or how you wear your clothes even. We see this as our 'learning' from that hurt. But really in changing ourselves to fit a past hurt are we not just exacerbating that hurt? Making it real and fresh, day in, day out. Are we living off that hurt, because we have not yet found a way to let it go. Instead we keep the scars fresh by revisiting time and time again.

I suggest that rather than fitting your hurt to suit your soul, or wearing it on your literal sleeve, it is wiser and more glorious to simply drop it - although of course this is the more difficult thing to do too!

I believe that anger is something you can put down if you choose to. You may not realise that yet, it may be difficult, trust me i struggle also. But it can be done. The first step is to simply try. To release it. Maybe ask for help from spirit guides, angels, the big electron or whoever or whatever you do believe in. Meditate on it. Contemplate it whilst in the shower, cleaning the car or sitting in traffic. Hold the intention in your heart to drop the bad feelings and see how that feels a little... Do it everyday, be conscious about it. Let the feelings ebb away and enjoy the space this leaves.

Forgiveness is, in the end, always, about you. About your abilitiy to live and to cope with all things. It is about your ability to endure and to seek solace in your own skin.

Forgive someone today one small thing and then take it from there! Make a definite decision to release all frustration, sadness and ugly feeling towards whomever has hurt you. Who knows by next week you could have ascended past all your pains and be living afresh, full of smiles and not one iota of bitterness dragging you back! Good luck!